add me
tell me
love me
simple
as.

So I haven't really been in an LJ mood since I got my internet back, I'm not really sure why.
My life has gone kind of wierd lately, in the sense that I've realised I have no one.
No real friends, no one I can hang out with.
All I do is work and sit around doing nothing and it's depressing.
I want people who I can have fun with and talk to when I'm lonely.
I have no one though. Maybe I brought it all upon myself, I mean I did pretty much push all my friends away.
I'm not sure why, like I've never been good with people. I tend to keep to myself.
Even in a room full of people I feel invisible.
I always have really, like a part of me was missing or maybe all of me was from the situation.
I used to take it for granted that maybe when I got older I'd have more friends.
I have one friend, one real friend -  well even then I'm not so sure.
I have Tyler too, but that's a given. He's my best friend and I love him more then anything.
But sometimes I just need someone here with me, so maybe make me feel less alone.
Lately I've been feeling really lonely, more so when I'm just after getting off the phone with Tyler.
It's like this void of people, or company or something that just doesn't seem to be getting filled.
Sure I don't go out, maybe if I did I'd have more friends, but then again it would be a repetitive cycle.
I'd sit there, willing everyone to just ignore me so I wouldn't have to deal.
I like being alone, but why does it have to feel so fucking lonely.
I have what I want, what I assume I need yet it's makng me wanna scream at the top of my lungs.
Because I just want someone to care, someone to be there when I need them.
It never happens though. I'm always alone. In my mind to overthink EVERY little thing.
I think things to death and then I wonder why I am the way I am and it gets worse.
Like the walls are caving in on me and I'm trying harder and harder to escape, but there's no escape.
Not from the emptiness I'm feeling, not from the loneliness. There's no escaping the fact that I am alone.
Right in this moment. I have no one.
And it hurts.

End of.

I am fairly bored. Iunno. Tyler was on a few minutes ago which was kinda nice, but aside from that. I did nothing today. I don't have work until 3pm on Thursday and as much as I hate work I'd rather go there, then having to sit arounf and moan about the fact that I have no life. Ya know? I dunno. Things can only get better right? I keep listening to this song and it's kinda making me sad. I dunno. I'm not sure of anything anymore, it's quite weird. I just realised this needs to be public and I don't want any of those fuckers seeing this, so I'ma shut up until I post properly later. Meme-y goodness below..

Tell me something you've always wanted to tell me. Be brutally honest here. Anonymously spill your guts! (Doesn't have to be anonymous)

=D

[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
[33]Would you consider going out with me?